Never Respond to Shade from Trees That Don’t Bear Fruit

Let me start with this: if I responded to every opinion, every critique, every side-eye or backhanded comment thrown my way, I’d have no energy left to build my business, pour into my family, or pursue God’s plan for my life.

As a 43-year-old Black woman, I wear many hats: I’m a wife, a mom, a Program Director, and a proud business owner of Designs by MTK. My days are full—stretching between emails, meetings, dinner prep, school drop-offs, pop-up shops, and late nights creating designs that reflect Black beauty, culture, and strength. And yet, somehow, there’s always someone—often someone who’s not even walking in their own purpose—who thinks they know exactly how I should be living my life.

The quote that’s been sitting heavy with me lately is this one:

“Never respond to shade from trees that don’t bear fruit.”

Read that again.

Everyone Has an Opinion… But Not Everyone Has Results

It’s funny how the loudest opinions tend to come from folks who aren’t doing half of what you’re doing—or if they are, they’re not doing it well. You’ll hear unsolicited advice on how to raise your child from someone who hasn’t been present for their own. You’ll get critiques on your marriage from people who’ve never maintained a healthy relationship themselves. And when it comes to business? Whew—everybody’s a CEO on social media.

Let’s be real: sometimes the hardest shade doesn’t come from strangers. It comes from the people you thought would be clapping the loudest for you. The cousin who scrolls past your business posts but always finds time to gossip. The friend who offers “constructive criticism” that feels more like a jab than love. The family member who questions why you’re so busy or why you’re still working late—like they’ve forgotten what it means to build something from the ground up.

And as painful as that can be, I’ve learned to stop internalizing it. Because I know what I’m building, and more importantly, I know Who I’m building it with.

Stay Focused on the Fruit

I had to make peace with the fact that not everyone will understand my hustle, my sacrifices, or my vision. I’ve missed events, said “no” to brunches, and declined a few girls’ trips—not because I don’t value connection, but because I’m focused. I’m building generational impact, not just income.

The people throwing shade often don’t see the roots beneath the surface. They don’t see the late nights, the prayers whispered over my son before bed, the deep breaths taken before tough conversations with my husband, or the hours spent in front of my laptop after my 9-5. They only see snapshots—and they judge an entire journey from a moment.

That’s why it’s critical to stay focused on what bears fruit. If it doesn’t feed your faith, fuel your purpose, or grow your peace, it’s not worth your attention. Period.

Protect Your Energy Like It’s Sacred—Because It Is

One of the most powerful things I’ve learned is to guard my peace. That means I don’t chase after people’s approval. I don’t get caught up in trying to explain myself to people committed to misunderstanding me. And I sure don’t lose sleep over opinions that were never rooted in love to begin with.

That doesn’t make me heartless. It makes me wise.

I listen to God. I listen to the vision He gave me. I check in with the people who love me in truth and want to see me win. And then I move forward. That’s the rhythm now.

Your Call to Action

Sis, if you’ve been dimming your light to avoid judgment, stop. If you’ve been second-guessing your parenting, your marriage, or your dreams because of other people’s projections, let it go. You do not need permission to be powerful.

Here’s your reminder:

• You don’t have to explain your grind to people who don’t grind with you.
• You don’t have to justify your parenting to people who don’t help you raise your child.
• You don’t have to dilute your dreams to make other people comfortable.

Your call to action this week is simple:

1. Unfollow or mute voices that don’t nourish your spirit.
2. Write down three things God has called you to do this season—and commit to them.
3. Speak life over your purpose daily. Out loud. Like you mean it.

Let them throw shade. You’re too busy blooming.