Navigating Life’s Changes as a Black Woman: The Space We Deserve

Change is inevitable. Relationships shift. Marriages end. Friendships fade. Loved ones pass on. And somehow, through it all, we are expected to keep going.

For Black women, navigating change comes with an added weight—a burden so deeply ingrained that we sometimes don’t even realize we’re carrying it. It’s the voice inside that whispers, You don’t have time to break down. It’s the expectations of motherhood, of work, of family, of the world that tell us we have to be strong, that there’s no space to fall apart.

But what happens when we do need to fall apart? When the life we built, the future we imagined, shifts right beneath our feet? Who do we turn to when we need to be vulnerable? Where do we go when our “us” becomes an I guess it’s just me?

The Weight of Strength

Black women have long been praised for our resilience, but at what cost? The “Strong Black Woman” trope tells us that we must endure, that we must carry the weight of the world without complaint. It tells us that no matter what life throws our way—heartbreak, loss, disappointment—we have to keep pushing. Because the kids need us. Because the household depends on us. Because the job doesn’t care if we’re struggling.

And so we go through the motions. We smile when we don’t feel like it. We show up when we’re emotionally drained. We push aside our own pain because someone else needs us first.

But strength is not the absence of struggle. Strength does not mean we can’t ask for help. Strength does not mean we have to suffer in silence.

The Right to Be Vulnerable

We deserve space. Space to process. Space to grieve. Space to figure out who we are when life doesn’t go as planned. We deserve friendships that allow us to be honest about our pain. We deserve communities that let us show up as we are, not just when we have it all together.

Black women deserve softness. We deserve safe spaces where we don’t have to be everything for everyone. Where we don’t have to apologize for needing time. Where we don’t have to justify our emotions.

Creating That Space for Ourselves

If the world won’t give us the space to be vulnerable, we must create it for ourselves. That might mean:

• Giving yourself permission to rest—without guilt.

• Finding a therapist or support group that understands the unique experience of Black womanhood.

• Leaning on sisterhood—whether that’s friends, family, or a community of women who get it.

• Saying “no” when we need to and setting boundaries that protect our peace.

We Are More Than Our Strength

Life will change. Relationships will shift. And through it all, we will find our way. But we don’t have to do it alone, and we don’t have to do it the way the world expects us to.

We are more than our strength. We are human—deserving of love, care, and the freedom to just be.

So, to the Black woman reading this who feels like she has to hold it all together: You don’t. Let yourself feel. Let yourself rest. Let yourself be.

Because you deserve it. 🤎